Without Offense

One of the biggest struggles many people face when trying to eat healthy is social situations. Some find the food too tempting. Many others don't want to offend the host(ess). The holidays are quickly approaching. Party invites are arriving. Will you stand strong or will you give in?

Tomorrow we'll talk about overcoming the temptations. Today I'd rather discuss another aspect of harmonious living, refusing food without offending the chef.

A lot of people are aware that my family has different dietary preferences, but they don't realize that we eat only fresh raw fruits, vegetables, greens, nuts, and seeds. Each social situation is different. It really helps to have a plan. What will we eat? What information will we share? How will we refuse the food we don't wish to consume?

First and foremost, the information we share remains consistent with friends, family, coworkers, and/or strangers. I don't go into a spiel about the virtues of raw vegan foods versus the death, disease, and destruction found in Standard American Diet land. This leads nowhere and is sure to bring offense to the person(s) offering food. Instead, I explain our stance from a personal health perspective that they can't negate and won't see as an attack against their choices.

We've really altered our diet over the last few months. Many of the prepackaged products on the supermarket shelves contain additives, preservatives, and other ingredients that can kick off seizures for Elijah. For this reason, I prepare our meals from fresh fruits and vegetables. So far we've seen great improvements in Elijah's health. We can't expect him to be the only one eating a special diet, so we all do this together. We appreciate the invite. Please don't go out of your way to prepare anything special. I'm more than happy to bring along a few dishes to share with the rest of the guests.

If the host(ess) is determined to provide all the food and would like to know what we would eat, then I simply suggest a fresh vegetable and/or fruit platter. In this situation, we also eat ahead of time just in case the fresh food selection isn't very large.

You can take my above statement and alter it to fit your situation. For example...

Thanks for inviting me to your gathering. For months/years I've struggled with _________ (high blood pressure, obesity, diabetes, chronic pain, lethargy, etc). After making a few alterations to my diet and incorporating more fresh fruits and vegetables, I'm feeling better than ever. You don't have to provide anything special for me. I'd like to bring along a couple dishes to share with the other guests. Would that be OK?

Explaining your situation ahead of time and offering a solution so the host isn't inconvenienced with finding something for you to eat will make both you and the host feel at ease.

What about those moments that you can't plan for? Plan anyway. We all know that different spontaneous and unavoidable situations will arise. Here's a couple of examples:

You're visiting a friend/relative and they offer a favorite drink or food, completely unaware that you don't consume that anymore. Politely decline, letting them know that you just had something right before you came. Another option would be to ask for a glass of water instead. Just mention that you're trying to drink more water these days.

OR

Your office decides to provide lunch for the employees. Your supervisor asks what you would like to order. Just keep it simple and ask for a salad with lettuce and tomatoes and a glass of water with lemon. Most restaurants have these ingredients on hand. Besides, you brought along plenty of fresh fruit and a smoothie for lunch. You can squeeze part of your lemon wedge over your salad and add some fruit to the top instead of salad dressing. If you're restricted to ordering something more specific like a chicken sandwich or tuna melt, then politely decline with an explanation that you're on a diet and brought your own food today. You shouldn't have to give any more of an explanation than this. Most people are on Weight Watchers, Atkins, South Beach, etc so your excuse would be considered normal.


You know the types of gatherings and social events that typically come up in your life. Do some role playing. Have a supportive friend or relative come up with challenging social propositions while you think of appropriate responses so that when the real scenarios come up you're prepared. No matter what the situation may be, remember to always express your thoughts in love to insure that your comments are without offense.